My Life- 2400 words or less

I'm never sure where Allyn put that camera stuff, so when she gets home, pictures will follow of a crazy few days. I finished my intensive week class, had a great weekend, carved a gourd or two, and I didn't miss Scott at all. In order to make this concise, I'll edit the rest of this post in bullet form, for those who really want to know, and those who don't- you can get through this faster.




-Allyn and I balanced out finances together on Quicken software.
-To even that out, we also watched Wallace & Gromit
-Because it's my blog, I'll brag- I ate soup out of a bread bowl
- A bread bowl that I MADE
-I'll let that sink in for a moment
-(see above)
-We carved our pumpkins
-Dominated a Road Rally event (an Amazing Raceish event for Springfield)

Honestly, when Al gets home I'll find that cord, you'll be amazed at these soup bowls, they're amazing.

Any Halloween plans or killer costumes out there? Indiana Jones and Alice in Wonderland are living here tonight.

Feliz Cumpli-something

Today is my brother's birthday, which can only mean one of a number of things:
a) he managed to get to the next level after a year of trying (you stink at Life:The Video Game)
b) he's another year to old to be accepted into Battle School
3) he's still wicked awesome

Happy Birthday to my Brother

Full Steam Ahead

So I'm in the middle of an intensive class at seminary, which is, for the non-brain surgeons in the crowd, where we go to class, rather intensively for a week solid, and then receive full credit. This experience is usually augmented by out of class assignments and procrastination. Or as some less studious than I like to call it, 101 thing to do on a laptop (including solitaire, free cell receives no credit).
I noticed one of my neighbors playing what appeared to be video games on his laptop during lecture. During the next break I asked what he was playing, some kind of simulator perhaps?
"oh, no, this is a train simulator"
Perhaps I heard you so drastically wrong, a train simulator?
"yeah, Microsoft train simulator, it's cool"
I spent a few more minutes watching the gameplay hoping that you'd get the chance to actually shovel in some coal, or fend off bandits. However none of these occurred, the best game that I could see was the ever popular in-game feature, "count the telephone poles".

I mean, you've got to be kidding me right? You'd think, but you'd be wrong, it's Hambone. Obviously there's an audience out there for this kind of game to exist and enough people want to drive trains around that don't want to or aren't that good at tiny models. But trains? What can you do with a train?
I can see why flight simulators exist, you can learn to fly, get more experienced at flight, crash into the ground, get more experienced, and eventually learn to crash into different things.
While a conductor makes that decision every morning: "sigh..Let's see, keep train on tracks today? Why not." Hey don't take my word for it, I've played this before. And it's rad.
Ponderance for the day: What occupation or activity could do well with an above-average simulator?
I'm off to hold up that train.

Spelchrk

This past Friday I had the chance to substitute for 4th grade all day, what a rockin' age to spend a day with. It's still an age where you'll eat things because they are gross, not for the money promised by cheering friends, and you still get regular recess. I'm pretty sure that I'd be alright with that. Oh, and free treats for a classmates birthday (when did that practice have to go out of style).

However I did make an appalling discovery. During the day that I had to administer a spelling test. No doubt all my ace students had been studying diligently for this test all week and walked through it. I however, decided that if it were not for spellcheck I would freefall to around a 4th grade spelling level. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with my vocabulary, it's just spelling that always gets me. If spelling was a monster I'd check back on it that one more time after I thought it was dead, and then it would get me, while everyone else ran to get the sheriff, who's secretly in on the plot as well, but they won't discover that until they find him at the abandoned chemical factory.

Anyone? Fans of spellcheck? Fans of leaving comments? Fans of not leaving comments?
Coming Soon: A special birthday dedication blog to my fat brother.

Blogger v. The People of Me

I had a new post typed up and ready to go, and then Blogger decided that I really needed to redo it and post it another day. So I'll be following its recommendation and doing just that, since it deleted it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm super awesome.

Boolean Operators v. Actual Operators

This one has actually been kicking around my noggin for some time. A week ago, for no other reason then boredom, (usually a very good indication of what is to come) I wondered what the inside of my dishwasher looked like when it was going. This thought only survived in my mind for a few more seconds before it was intercepted by common sense, attempted to explained itself, what it was doing just hanging out, what business it had there, did it have an appointment, and then was promptly thrown out via the ear. Before it was thrown out, it did explain that it didn't want to simply know how the dishwasher works, no it would be a much more interactive experience if it could SEE how it worked with the water sloshing around and such. It was precisely at this time that common sense kicked in, and pondered what a ridiculous idea that actually was. Which leads me to the idea of Instantly Horrible Ideas (or S.C.O.T.T.'s for short, I'm not sure that it's a hard and fast rule that acronyms have to correspond, plus, it's still my blog) This is why I've devised an easy process for identifying potential S.C.O.T.T.'s in the process:

Potential S.C.O.T.T. Risk if:
- this idea could drive the plot of any number of sit com's. (i.e. The Brady Bunch, Matlock, Dukes of Hazzard)
-you're instantly ashamed that you could think something at that level
-even so, you secretly want this idea to happen
-Scott actually said it
-you can't propose the idea to anyone with a straight face
-after several rounds of nay-saying, this still seems like a great idea to you
-when no one is home, the dishwasher pleads to be opened up when it's running

With this helpful list you can identify and label all your ideas and promptly follow all of them, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to put my digital camera in the dishwasher, that'll solve everything. Readers, you're more then welcome to share.

Short Post

Yesterday during an emergency run to the supermarket (as much of an emergency as that becomes) I ran into a family of kids(not a whole family made up of kids, the parents were there as well) that I had subbed for a number of times before. The recognized me and gave me the stare that tells me that tells me that their brains are indeed melting at the very thought that teachers can exist outside of school. I was under this impression as well, I thought they just hid cots in the big metal drawers they never opened in the corner of the classroom and slept there. This misconception continued until college and I saw some houses where my prof's were "supposed" to live, but I didn't buy their crazy stories.

To make this worse, I had a bag of Malt-o-Meal, chicken, and I was reaching for a box of ice cream when the kids saw me. If I had seen a teacher to this, making this kind of purchase, my mind surely would have been melted.

Where can I get that job?

Walking through Michaels, the arts and crafts store, as I'm now more prone to do now that I'm married. Before I was married I would only walk into hobby stores to find cool stuff like wood to make my trebuchet out of or, um, other cool stuff...sigh

Something I was struck with, besides just how many types of craft glue exist, is perhaps the best job in the world. In my defense, the job itself is not in Michaels, although Al might fight tooth and nail to tell me otherwise. No, the job is being a frame model. The photo that comes with the frame showing a pivotal point in your life, graduation, your granddaughter learning to ride a bike, Jane's first day at college, all without the benefit of actually knowing these people. These pictures are usually removed and discarded but I'm interested in getting hooked up with that job. Do these people have a whole day where they suit up in tuxes to shoot a wedding with someone they've never met? Maybe then they scurry over to the graduation set just in time to have the whole wedding party graduate high school together. What if it was a whole day of taking pictures that were other people's pretend memories? I could do that job, I'm no gap model, but I can be excited about pretend things. On my best days I've been known to pretend that the Cubs are an actual baseball team. I could take a picture being pretend excited at our JV baseball tournament...yeah...

monday, double or so

Is this what blogging is? No one blogs on the weekend? Anyway, a very exciting weekend here. An Illinois College homecoming and two, count them, movie review coming at you. Allyn and I saw Mr.Crowe's Elizabethtown this weekend. Results: one and three-quarters thumbs up(accident with a table grinder). However, if you've already seen Garden State you might prefer that, the soundtrack does edge it out in front. Second, Ong-Bak, see it, plain and simple. This movie is not like Garden State, and has a silly soundtrack. However, the main character uses no stunt doubles, CGI, or wires in the entire movie. To prepare for this movie Tony Jaa trained four years in Muay Boran exclusively for this role. For those of you who don't know what Muay Boran is (and honestly, who doesn't?) check it out. Honestly, a martial arts form that emphasizes the use of knees and elbows? Not only does it look awkward, it's one of the most beautiful awkward I've seen, besides my brother.

And, the bigger news of the weekend, Allyn finished her puzzle and it looks awesome. I'm so proud of that girl. I'll have pictures up as soon as I can(find that darn digital camera).

Question to think about: What weapon or martial art would you devote yourself to if current said job or vocation fell through and zombies invaded? Discuss.

Close Endorsements of the Third Kind

Well, that was carthartic, I'm sure everyone feels better, I know that I do. Thank you all for commenting, if you're keeping score at home, I'm pretty sure that this last comment tally was a personal best, and quite nerdy enough for me. Points for everyone (Tim, Susan, Peggy, and I) for identifying Ulence Flats, a destination in the popular Space Quest series. As Rob pointed out, this might have been a little obscure, but tough it's my blog. I don't know what you're talking about all the time. I just interject big words and consider the topic settled. With that, thanks everyone.

Something else has been percolating in my temporal lobe for some time: endorsements. Specifically things that don't get that much credit and yet, wholeheartly deserve it. Here are just a few of my favorites, in a series I will call "Close Endorsements of the Third Kind"

Malt-o-Meal: First, this is the company that has made hundreds of millions(fabricated) of dollars by sitting around the board room table and waiting for a brand name to make a new cereal and then push a knock off onto the shelves. It's the JC Penny's of the cereal world. Honestly, their slogan is "Betcha Can't Taste the difference", and they advertise themselves blatantly as "comparable to..."
How can these monsters do this day in and day out?
I'll tell you, by making a product with a funny name(Marshmallow Mateys, Scooters, pick your favorite), giving you 200% more for 1/3 of the price of name brand(more or less factual numbers) and that satisfaction of sticking it to the man. Turns out, both of these products are better then their brand name comparison.
C'mon, stop scoffing at the plastic bag and give 'em a chance.
And while you're doing that, I'll be reinventing SpeedKnifes-comparable to RollerBlades

40 things better than learning Greek

Da Da!(this will have more impact if it's hummed as a MIDI fanfare through tinny internal speakers, perhaps SoundBlaster.) It's my personal feeling that computer sound, gaming in particular, really dropped off once they made the move away from those handy factory internal speakers. But, hey, that's just me. The journey to Ulence Flats has never sounded so good since.*

Today this blog is coming to you direct from the fourth table of the student union during a class break, I like to think of it as my personal blog studio, but am constantly distracted by all my so-called "employees" walking around not listening to what I ask of them, telling me that they are not, in fact, employees but other students, and I should go through some Greek flashcards or something. Yes, blogging from seminary brings some new ideas to mind. As I slowly look around, I can only see students who would be happier studying Greek or Hebrew or the Restoration Movement or the historical and theological impact of the relative pronoun shown through the Greek shown in Philippians. And as I slowly look around I realized that Dum Dum DA (same MIDI sound) I am that nerd.

So, today's question will be a free confessional, with assurance of full pardon, is to admit your inner Poindexter. What is your inner nerd shame? And with a partially completed M.Div degree, I can offer you absolution (it's not really a sin, so I wouldn't sweat it that bad).

Me? I really enjoy Greek, I know, I'm a nerd. It's also occurred to me that most of this audience is also firmly entrenched in Nerd-dom, however this would be a great chance for some the readers on the fringe to free themselves of the deep-rooted nerd within. Or, my brother could just talk about comic books some more. sigh....

*Only one, maybe two other people get that. Points if you can place that, without Google, Rob. **
**For the historians' sake, that's my first footnote.

Endorsed by Google

There, I did it. A day without posting, and you know what? It was easy, just like Superman not using the ability to fly before he discovered it. Speaking of, in a disjointed way, we could all do better to follow Nick Cage's example.

I'm sure that other slackers (read as Scott) don't post everyday, and I'm sure they feel fine about it. Since I'm trying to expand my fan base, geeze, can I even call it a "fan" base? How about persons either wandering looking for information concerning Uganda and/or persons obligated to read this blog by blood relation/marriage/both-base? I feel a little better clinging to that.

Scott, I was even going to delicately insert your name between coughs as to disguise exactly which "slackers" I was referencing. I know that you would appreciate the notoriety as a slacker and anything that I could do to perpetuate that image would only be welcomed.

My next thought, what is there was a committee that covered all blog activity? Just a general committee sanctioned by the government or Google, or do I repeat myself? First they would have to be some of the most pompous individuals to elevate themselves to the level of a blog, and then to the point of oversight of others' blogs.

For the delight of all my faithful readers(read as, four) I have intercepted(fabricated) documents between members of the very secretive COOLERTHANYOU (so elite is this inner circle, they don't need to ascribe a word to each letter to form their secret acronym. This aside, here are some intercepted messages between members of COOLERTHANYOU.

Wentworth Bebble III: Dear William, I've finally bought enough gold fillings from past presidents to smelt down a solid gold wicket set, so the cricket game will be at 4 today.

William Wadsworth Becket the Upteenth: Wentworth, I would love to join you in you're boresome game, however Luiz Gonzoloes Mendez and I will be taking pot shots at Saturn with ICBMs, sorry, all tied up.

Needless to say, I only feel sillier when blogging. Have a truly pleasant day.

Soaring up the Charts

I'm convinced that if any kind of rating system existed for blogs and blog readership, such as the Billboard Charts, or the Blogboard, if you will, this would certaintly be the young upstart freshfaced hipster on the scene that debuts high, and shoots Suge Knight or something that would qualify me for "So you think you can (talent-of-the-week)" And already two for two.
Since entering this blog ring, as intimidating as that already is, with an already established blog community, it's hard to find a niche. But I've started qualifing as best I could: I've got my podcasts up, I cut my brake lines so my ride is much more adventure-ready than Scott's, and I'm preparing to move to New York and catch concerts before they get to Chicago.
Yes, yes, I have big plans for this blog, inter-Blog leagues, the exchange of ideas, hit singles, yes, everything's coming up Milhouse.
Wait for it, I feel my first link coming on...wait for it, yes! ...crap.

New Beginnings, Old News

Look at all the room around here, with the new blog smell, the sidebars fresh for anything that I might deem important in my world. So many new thoughts, is this young blog a toddler just learning to walk, or is it a newborn that I can introduce into the world, perhaps a gawkish lad freshly shorn of his lunch money. Either way, I've already thought of nine better blog names since I've started, make that ten.
Goals for this blog? I'm not sure that I have any. I'm probably going to shoot for big firsts, first comment, first link, first posted outrage from Jacob. What an exciting time in a young blogs' life. Man, feel free to throw any and all junk my way, this will probably take some time until this thing finds it's "voice", now that I'm formally addressing the entire world.
My big adventure for the day? Probably some greek vocab, with some tennis thrown in for good measure. That is, until the ninjas attack.