Wednesday, November 30, 2005

As the Rock Turns

Don't fear, there's a picture post around the corner. In other news, Allyn is so good at guitar hero. I'm not even doing a bit. The night we played it, I remember having the exact thought "man, Allyn is going to see this and spaz out. Then she's not going to want to play it anymore. Then no one will rock out with me."

The next night Allyn tore into the game and cruised through several songs, doing much better than both Rob and I when we started. No kidding, ask Rob, he was there. As such, a Guitar Hero inter-blog competition is soon on its way. Mostly because I hear that Scott blows.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Rock at rock bottom

Rock has reached a new low. Just yesterday I was wondering how I was going to get my daily fill of rocking out to Boston's "More than a Feeling" in my pajama pants. However, due to miraculous circumstances, last night, this dream was finally realized. I should remind my readers that this daily urge only just started last Tuesday, so it hasn't been lingering that long. However my hang gliding jones is only getting worse. (Man, that's such a horrible idea)

The reason for the rock satisfaction is that Rob brought over my copy of Guitar Hero last night, straight from the shelves of our local Best Buy, where Rob diligently works and hides copies of Guitar Hero so we can have one. Fair enough.

The object of this genius little game is to grab your half size guitar made out the finest plastic that money can buy and rock until my wife assures me that I am in fact, the dork of the year. Check this, it's the precision injection molding on the neck of the guitar that gives it such great sustain.

This game does for guitar what Dance Dance Revolution did for dancing, which is not much. But it doesn't matter, for in my own mind, I'm already cooler. Both Tim and Rob, who also monkeyed around with it last night are also cooler.

Does this excuse us as dorks? Not a chance.
Can we play guitar better as a result? Probably not.
Do you want to come over and tear down the living room via "Smoke on the Water"?

I thought so.

Just call ahead, the cover charge changes nightly.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Things I don't understand

There are people out there that hate pumpkin pie. Quote from my Greek Prof. "I would rather choke on a maggot then eat pumpkin pie."
Really? C'mon give some thanks people.

Mandatory vote: Pumpkin Pie- thumbs up or down.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Still searching for Bobby Fisher

I know that I've teased my numerous readers(seven- on a good day) for weeks with the possibility of Inter-Blog skirmishes, whatever those might be. Thinking about it, I think that I might have only mentioned it once. As that may be, I would like to formally announce the beginning of my Inter-Blog skirmish. Rob, my sworn enemy(he doesn't know that yet) of Rob's Office Space, and I have begun a rolling chess game. Da-DUM!

I know, I know, it's not paintball or trebuchet fights, but in all reality it could escalate to that point by the end of the week. And we had to start somewhere, if we started with say, trebuchet fights, I would obviously win, but at the cost of becoming the world's hugest dork, currently held by this man.

Eventually it will escalate to gypsy knife fights, for our purposes right now, we'll start with chess. This begins an interesting thought that I have had when I take enough time to think about what I've been doing lately rather then just doing it(usually unlikely). My interests tend to swing from point to point with no predictable overall pattern. Just two weeks ago I was dead set on adopting hang gliding as my new hobby, Why? I have little to no idea. There was nothing to remind me of hang gliding, and no reason for myself to be interested.

It's this thought pattern which as led me toward things like curling, rock climbing, trebuchet construction, mortar mixing, and chess. Talk to me in another two months and I guarantee that I'll be building a spare space shuttle or learning the finer arts of beekeeping. Not chess buddy, I'm pushing that towards the adoption of an early New Years resolution.

Crowd: See Harry Potter, It's never to early for Resolutions, make one now, or just make fun of me. Have a great week.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Alohamora (on your face)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Amazing.
Myself: working on about three and a half cylinders.
Allyn: Amazing, still wearing Hermione costume.
Pictures: Upcoming.
Prediction: Mid-afternoon nap.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Behind Enemy Lines

So I've been subbing for about two years before I had the realization of exactly what was at my fingertips. The teachers' desk! How many years in grade school did you wonder exactly what were in those green metal drawers? Could it be gold, jewels, or perhaps the Lost Dagger of Amon-Ra? I had this revelation yesterday when I was absent-mindedly playing with the teacher's EZ Grader. You know, that thing that you get to slide and tells you what your percentage would be if you missed 34 questions on a 97 question test (107% w/ extra credit, yeah, I'm awesome). A few things that I have noticed:
- All female teachers carry lotion and chapstick to moisturize their skin for the next year, should that industry go bankrupt overnight. Men usually have just as much pocket change to tide themselves over.
-Stressed out teachers carry asprin, other teachers carry blowguns and tranquilizer darts.
-8 out of 10 teachers have candy in their desks.
-Interestingly enough, every teacher has notes from other teacher that they secretly pass to other teachers during "teacher institute days".
-"Teacher Institute Days" are nothing more then tanning days. Believe what you like, I've seen the tanning bed fields, they're in the teachers lounge.

Anyone ever get to see in their teachers desks?

Friday, November 11, 2005

Virtural Music from my Sorry Fingers

Again, to the angry throngs below, I'm sorry, but now that I'm 25 I'll do what I like. The basic run down of the last few days:
I celebrated my birthday with a Greek test(not my idea), a surprise lunch with my wife(also not my idea, but better then a Greek test), and a few presents (always my idea).
A few notables:
Tickets to the Big Bad Voodoo Daddies, thanks you rad kids,
The surest shortcut to international rockstardom- this glorious invention
To quote someone else, I'm sure this translates to guitar about as much as DDR translates to actual dancing, is that going to stop me from playing "Ironman" every morning? I think not.
And the quirky gift from a dependable quirky relative, I give you this, which went up in the ride the moment that I broke away from my birthday dinner. It's up for anyone that wants to ride along with Our Lady.
And finally, perhaps the best presentation for a gift yet, this little guy was hiding at the end of a high concept photo hunt through our apt, constructed by my wife. All of the shots were taken at strange angles at a distance of about three inches. Again on record, my wife is the best, and when quoted on the blog out of context, ridiculous.
"My feet look Biblical in these shoes, don't they?"
Right?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Tectonic Plates

So I was the science teacher for 6th-8th grades today, another easy day, as I was relegated to the showing of videos and the passing out of worksheets. I've got Greek to memorize and world domination plans to firm up, so I'm alright while the kids learn about volcanoes.

However, while I call roll to make sure no one misses out, I'll ask them for their ideal super power, or what color light saber they want. Kids love it and it's better than hearing "present" 27 times, and then one kid making fart sounds when I call his name. If anyone's going to make fart noises in my class its me, kids, grow up.

So I was calling roll for my second 6th grade class, polling for super powers, nothing different about this class. Responses were falling out pretty predictably:
"Flying"
"Gills, to breathe underwater"
"Super Speed"
"Meat Vision"
"Super Stren-"
What? I turned to the student in question and asked him to clarify, he must have meant heat vision, or was grossly misinterpreting the superhero creed. His explanation, more or less ver batium,

Umm, yeah, whenever I wanted, I could look at something and hot dogs would come out of my eyes.

I'm not sure if this kid was really hungry, or was intending to shoot things with hotdogs or other forms of meat, or if this was the long way around the problem of world hunger. Maybe this kid wasn't clear on exactly what I was asking, or what a superhero is, or does.

The youth of America are exploding, one Sub at a time.

And yes, I'm 25 tomorrow. So old.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Close Endorsements of the Third Kind

Yeah, I know it's Monday and there's no new post. I can hear everyone pleading nay, chanting for another witty update from this blog. And that's precisely the point I have to lean out the window and address the throng below( or οχλος, in Greek if you prefer, ha-HA, I'm a nerd..sigh) and calmly remind them that this blog has never been in the practice of putting out witty updates. C'mon people, some wit now and then, sure. But all the time, I really don't think so.

However it is time to endorse something else, in another CE of the TK. (see title above, or make up your own. Captain Endrocrine of the Time Kickboxers, anyone? hmmm, someone call the WB. Tim would watch that show...)

For this installment, we didn't even get out of the kitchen, we'll be featuring this do-hickey: The product line at Libman swears it a "dish sponge and soap dispenser". However I feel this is a slap in the face to this product, at least it would be, if this product had a face, and then if it did I'm sure it wouldn't sell as well. Back on topic, is there anything that can't be made more fun with this thing? Every apartment needs this, all college kids need this, I've already got one and I regularly spread peanut butter on clean dishes just so I can clean them off with this what's-it.

Hey, Al and I had a great weekend in Chicago, but because Tim pre-empted that for Skating with the Stars, I will as well.
Post your weekend heists, or fill in your own WB show: CE of the TK. C'mon, it's the home edition!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

You asked for it.

And when I say you, I'm really citing one person. For the viewing pleasure of the world at large as the internet now affords me that chance, or six people who fain interest in my life (whichever comes first), I'm including some choice pictures from some recent escapades. But I must take a break from that to include a fantastic part of my day. The first being paid to do Greek homework, the second, more important: grade school lunches.

As an occupational hazard/perk, dependent on how you remember your own gastrointestinal forays into dining during those years, I get more then my fair share to indulge in that wonderful world of dining. Something that gives me great comfort like nothing else is a meal slammed down in front of me. No complaints. Actually, no time for complaints before you're shoved down the line and hopefully you've grabbed milk and a fork and maybe a napkin if you're lucky. Then settle down before the lunch room gets too loud and they make you be quiet. Lunch 202- if your milk carton was pointing at anyone else but you, that meant you were going to marry them, at least those were the hard and fast rules at West (is the best). This lead to juvenile hilarity.

As I revisit all those sensations sitting in the lunchroom today, nearly 25, I find the clearly delineated food sections on my tray sitting like a nicely ordered country. Not one pea invaded all meal, they kept nicely to themselves. Sometimes its just nice to have a decision taken out of your hands once in awhile. Like lunch. And those burgers are so tasty.

Finally, I'm visiting my brother, Tim this weekend, and Tara D, although I don't know her yet, so these pictures will have to do for the weekend.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Every and All Hallow's Eve

There are some people that have a great view of Oct 31st. There are others, for lack of better words, should not be let out. More on that later, Allyn and I dressed up for Halloween (Alice in Wonderland and Indiana Jones, I'll let you sort it out). Fantastic costumes, if my opinion matters for anything. Since I was brought up in a home filled with family values, there are some Halloween-related tenets from which we will never be able to break. Ryder virtue #41 Thou shalt make your own Halloween costume. This is shortly followed by #42 Thou shalt have a real Christmas tree. Any violation therein is grounds for excommunication from the family. Honestly, we had another brother until he bought a Halloween costume as a fake Christmas tree. He also was playing with guns at the same time, he was asking for it.

Back to the story, Allyn and I were both out, helping out kids play games and whatnot and a number of adults tried frantically to guess what we were. I'll supply the pictures, it's not rocket science.

The number one offender of the night: "Oh yeah, great costume, you're that guy right?" No idea what he's trying to communicate. "From Curious George?" In my head (beneath my brown fedora) I was too busy yelling, you mean the Man with the Big Yellow Hat? These people bother me. I mean, Allyn made me a cool bull whip...sigh