Thursday, April 06, 2006

How to Succeed in Business with Bananas


Let me let you in on a little hint of the ad biz, one word my friend, one word, Chimps, that's right, Chimps. I don't care what you're selling, Chimps can sell it better, faster, ensure a better return, and increased customer satisfaction. You tell me one product that you can sell better than a chimp; and you'll be quiet for a long time, possibly forever. Let me illustrate:

Medical Insurance: Put a Chimp in a doctors lab coat with a stethoscope, I'm sold.

NASA: Chimps in glasses with tape in the middle sitting in Mission Control working with a slide rule as another chimp jumps up and down on the red launch button; who could resist?

Telecommunications: To easy, a monkey answers a ringing phone and holds a banana up to his ear instead. Bam, jokes on you rube!

Case closed, as far as I'm concerned, chimps selling me things will never get old. I'm ok if all commercials switch over to chimps as spokesprimates.

Finally, for your consideration, a selection of fine collections featuring chimps:
The Trunk Monkey series. It's worth every minute of buffering.

11 Comments:

Blogger Timmy Tapeworm said...

Trunk Monkey! Thank you! I was trying to remember what the premise of those commercials was because there's a commercial for protective software that basically rips off the bit. I saw it and got mad because, come on. Think of your own monkey bits.

7:49 AM  
Blogger C_thegreat said...

I'm guessing women can sell Axe cologne better than a monkey could. That is the whole premise of the add... I don't know many guys trying to attract monkeys.

~c

5:29 PM  
Blogger Timmy Tapeworm said...

But a monkey attracting all kinds of lady monkeys...now there's some advertising brilliance. Stop trying to poke holes in the monkey ad theory, Corie. It won't work.

12:52 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

not to put down your efforts Tim, but I can take a crack at the monkey Axe commercial. Its the combination of Women AND Monkeys that will sell the stuff. Picture it, a gorgeous guy trying to capture the attention of said hot female, but she seems distracted by something. A MONKEY WITH AXE!!! Commercial ends with big monkey grin. Beautiful.

11:08 PM  
Blogger Timmy Tapeworm said...

There it is, Rob. You nailed it. Absolutely brilliant.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

I could not have enjoyed the positive feedback any more than if it were written by chimps. I would agree that within the wider genre of chimp ads, few individual facets need to be met.
A. ending the spot with a goofy chimp grin
B. chimps telling humans what to do
C. clothes don't need to be worn, but pants are much funnier than nothing else.

9:24 PM  
Blogger C_thegreat said...

I will find something that won't work. I promise!

I'm dedicating my remaining time at college to devise a commercial that won't work.

Today's suggestion?
Any "female products"--I don't know ANY girl who would trust a monkey to sell her that.

And, college is now over for me. I have mastered the question. Don't even try to argue it. Don't even try the old "easy enough for a monkey" phrase/theme for the commerical. That won't work. Trust me.

~c

12:46 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

A monkey with lips stick and maybe a blonde wig running around being wreckless and crazy. All the while theres a really depressed looking boy monkey sitting on a couch. The joke of the commercial is about some girls just "going crazy" once a month. Then the theme is about making the right decisions, or not all brands are created equal or something. Trust me, I've seen funny feminine product commerical, all you got to do it make fun of PMS and not actually refrence the product much. It breaks the monkey grinning at the end rule for a more sympathetic approach. If I had more time I could work it out, but I gots to go. Later!

11:30 AM  
Blogger Timmy Tapeworm said...

At the end, the male monkey flops his gigantic simian hand across his face in an "Oh boy" type expression. Hilarious AND effective.

You nailed it again, Rob. I think you're in the wrong business.

1:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok so I'm butting in over here off of Rob's blog...(since Rob is too lazy to post anything himself today)

Ok as a woman...i would have some issues buying tampons that were being advertised by a monkey. ew

What about condoms?

Breyn

4:14 PM  
Blogger C_thegreat said...

Yeah, I'm shooting down your ideas on the tampon/midol/cramp relief/etc commercial. I think I won this game.

And Rob, we go crazy?
You lose 17 cool points.
Tim thinks you nailed the commercial concept, but you didn't quite nail sensitivity training yet.

Also, how well did monkeys help Tang?
Just throwing that out there.

A commercial that would be good with monkeys--Mall of America. Monkeys would at least beat out Leah Thompson commercials.
Or... plastic surgery, which would be hilarious.

So, I'm not anti-monkey by any means, I just am arguing the notion that they sell EVERYTHING BETTER.

~c

4:39 PM  

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