A Wafting Motion. for sure.
Once in a while someone around me will complain about sinus pressure, sinus infection, or sinus drainage. While my first instinct is to console this person, so obviously in pain and suffering, there's a trigger deep down that reminds me- I have no idea what this person is talking about. I've never had a medical aliment that begins with the word sinus. This is because of one reason-
7th grade lab science teacher, Mr. Mourning.
It was a fateful day somewhere between dissecting earthworms (seriously, there's nothing there to dissect) and timing a wood cart go down a ramp (this also was designed to teach us something sciencey) that Mr. Mourning called me over and asked me to sniff this beaker and see if I could tell what it was. Ignoring all lab science protocol I stuck my schnoz directly into the beaker and inhaled. In retrospect, this is why the wafting motion to smell is so important, but never used. It was at that moment that I could see into the future and passed out at the same time, but just for a second. Mr. Mourning laughed and told me it was ammonia. And then chuckled in an old man teachin-those-kids kind of way.
Since that point, I'm pretty sure my sinus cavities are empty, and have no concept what it is to have sinus problems.
No, listen, this has huge ramifications, just sneak up behind your friend, it has to be a surprise, and make them smell ammonia.
This might sound heartless, but they'll be psyched once you explain yourself.
Have a great week.
As a postscript, quote of the day, from a 3rd grade classroom: Guys, for the last time, don't touch the Ark of the Covenant. Geeze!
7th grade lab science teacher, Mr. Mourning.
It was a fateful day somewhere between dissecting earthworms (seriously, there's nothing there to dissect) and timing a wood cart go down a ramp (this also was designed to teach us something sciencey) that Mr. Mourning called me over and asked me to sniff this beaker and see if I could tell what it was. Ignoring all lab science protocol I stuck my schnoz directly into the beaker and inhaled. In retrospect, this is why the wafting motion to smell is so important, but never used. It was at that moment that I could see into the future and passed out at the same time, but just for a second. Mr. Mourning laughed and told me it was ammonia. And then chuckled in an old man teachin-those-kids kind of way.
Since that point, I'm pretty sure my sinus cavities are empty, and have no concept what it is to have sinus problems.
No, listen, this has huge ramifications, just sneak up behind your friend, it has to be a surprise, and make them smell ammonia.
This might sound heartless, but they'll be psyched once you explain yourself.
Have a great week.
As a postscript, quote of the day, from a 3rd grade classroom: Guys, for the last time, don't touch the Ark of the Covenant. Geeze!
posted by Josh at 8:32 AM
4 Comments:
I was there. It was, in a word, hilarious. I don't want the fact to be missed that this was in front of the entire class, and Josh was intentionally used to make an example out of. In my mind's eye, I remember Josh exhaleing like a wind up, and then inhaling as deeply as possible. his eyes buldged, veins protruded, and then ran comicly around the room breathing fire.
It was great.
Oh, that Mr. Mourning. Such a joker. Nothing compared to the someone-get-that-guy-a-microphone shenanigans of Mr. Porter though. Why that guy never got into stand-up, I'll never know.
I inhaled once like that too, Josh, into a bottle of hot tub chemicals. It's almost enough to cause your life to flash before your eyes. But oh does it burn.... your silly mom
I feel that third grader quote needs a little context. I thought the Ark was hidden in a big government warehouse. What's it doing in a Springfield private school?
Post a Comment
<< Home