Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Wimbledon of Subbing

Equivalent of winning the Nobel Peace Prize when the Nobel Committee are all in 5th grade, I have just hit the grand slam of substitute teaching. Today I collected homework that I assigned, oh yes, that I assigned.
To those of you outside of the subbing culture(we call them "outsiders", it's an exclusive term used by subs) this might not seem like such a large feat. But to accomplish this you have to jump on that sweet train of chronic teacher sickness and ride it straight to the finish line.

There isn't actually a finish line, there's actually just more handouts.

And oh yes, I'll be going back for an unprecedented, Third Day. Unheard of in the subbing world, they don't even have a name for this, we're debating, but we might call it a "triple".

Seriously, I'm this close to learning names.

Individuals:
T- I remember getting a MickeyD's record in our newspaper and we had to put it under encyclopedias to flatten it before it could tell us we didn't win. Anything?

Rob/Ro- I can't vouch for Starbucks anymore, but Panera's will treat you right.

Tara- In class today, when asked what a third line on the inside of a circle could be, when the answer wasn't diameter or radius. This kid instantaneously shouted "Di-Radius!" The correct answer was "chord" but by that time the kid had packed up and left, apparently solving enough of the 5th grade for the day. I'm not even doing a bit.

39 Comments:

Blogger Timmy Tapeworm said...

Yeah, I remember that. It was a long way to go simply to be told that we didn't win. I admire the effort though. And the fact that the record was probably square.

5:06 PM  
Blogger Fifth said...

Unrelated, but still important: I had a substitute teacher in an AP Biology who tried to teach the class about crystal healing. We learned that our sub was a Doctor of [something related to crystals].

You sound better than that guy.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

Hi Josh. I remember when Mr Schell used to Sub. And he was the worst. And then he became a teacher. And he was even worst-er. He gave me a C in a class that, to this day, I am pretty sure I got an A in. I also remember when PJ went on a tyrade about how he was going to hunt him down and stab him in the eye because he hated him so much... and Nick was standing there and was like, "Dude, that's my Dad." and PJ looked almost embarassed for a second - almost - and then recovered with, "Sorry... your dad Sucks." Ahh. Good times.

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