I'll take Ruffage for $500, Alex

Ahhh, now that feels better. A whole new year to stretch out in, still with that New Year smell. Which I think smells a little like the old year, only 06-er. Great things about the New Year, I'm learning so much already. Such as, no one really makes Resolutions, but I know you'll still be indifferent to know that I'll still be reminding myself and the Chipmans to keep their resolutions.

A second thought: If your product can clean an old penny when you dip half in your miracle elixir, the general American public will buy it. No matter what it claims to do, if it can make at least half that penny shine, you're golden.

Final thought, with the new year, new beginnings, where am I going next, exactly, new colons. Or more precisely, colon cleanses. A few days ago, I was wandering the mall, a habit that Allyn finds mystifying,
A- "Why would you walk around if you're not looking for anything?"
J- "I have no idea."
A- "I don't know you at all."

I stopped in GNC, simply for the reason that I've never stopped in there before. Looking around, just minding my own chemically-induced pecs, I stopped, stunned by the attention that GNC has in the cleanliness of my colon. GNC cleared a whole section of the store just for the colon cleanses. Do I really need my system rooted that bad? Apparently.

There's no witty resolve to this posting, except that you really need to look at the colon cleanses at GNC. Or find a better standard for rating infomercial products. Like picking up a bowling ball with a vacuum cleaner. Yeah, that'll sell.